In Develop Your Element we often talk about regenerative spaces, and how these spaces allow you to become the best version of you. Yet the great thing about them is that it’s not just for you – you can also help your loved ones find their regenerative spaces to bring out the best in them. When you value their differences, and use them as a source of growth, instead of turning those differences into a source of conflict, you already begin to be a source of regeneration for them. And when you know specifically what regenerates them, you can make sure to invite them to that space whenever they are starting to get stressed or tired.
As a general guide, extroverted people will get more energy and harmony from being social and moving more, whereas introverted people will get more energy and harmony from having quiet time to contemplate life. Ambiverts require a little of both, and they also have a need to feel personally connected to the people they love.
Always be empathetic, compassionate and grateful for each personality type as this alone will go a long way to ensure harmony and more positive interactions.
Here are some examples of the kind of stimulus that regenerates each of the personality types. Remember that each person is a combination of all the elements but usually has between one and three that dominate, so be sure to address all the dominant ones especially if they have very different needs.
Electric: social events, sports, loud music, chaotic and dynamic environments. Take them out on an adventure or suggest they go wherever there is opportunity to interact with people, move a lot, have fun, or be creative. If they are not too drained, even walking around and exploring for a short time, or putting on some music and being silly with them for a while will suffice. They need time to be lighthearted and purely focused on fun!
Fiery: interacting with people and getting things done, fun debates and dynamic discussions so that they can work their brain and wit. They love results, so help them achieve things or challenge them in fun ways. You can also praise them, especially if you mean it. Fiery people enjoy sincere praise and signs of support – after all, they like to be team leaders. So show them that you believe in them and appreciate their leadership!
Aquatic: spending time with loved ones, taking the time to love and feel loved. Deep conversations, loving gestures, and even small personal messages throughout the day should make them feel connected to you. Make yourself available to them, and look deeply into their eyes when you speak to them. The more genuine, open, and present they feel you are, the more regenerated they will be.
Earthly: relaxation both for themselves and others, such as having a relaxing vacation with the family, a spa day with close friends or a partner, etc. Going to the beach, taking a bubble bath, sitting in a comfortable lounger, and time to think and relax are things that will regenerate an earthly person. The trick is to convince them to do it. They often put themselves last, so you might have to let them pamper you first (or show them how comfortable and relaxed you already are!) before they can relax and allow themselves to be pampered. Remember: they are very sensual people, so preparing them their favourite food or even a good cup of coffee or tea can be a great way of helping them regenerate.
Airy: personal space, and being able to disappear away from people and have time to analyze things and become absorbed in their thoughts. Airy people need lots of physical space that they can control and decorate by themselves. The trick with them is to give them space but also be available for them when they want to come back out. Too much pressure will make them retract, and if they are feeling guilty for “disappearing” or sense the risk that you may “give up” on them, they will have a harder time fully relaxing. Let them know you’re there for them, and then let them figure things out on their own unless they specifically ask for advice or support.
Metallic: quiet times alone where they can contemplate everything in life and lower the amount of stimulus around them. They generally like working alone. That said, spending time together in silence and “moral support” can also regenerate a metallic person. Furthermore, having a logical and intellectually stimulating conversation can give them the level of stimulus they require.
As with everything in Develop your Element, the more you are willing to work with the differences and invite people to regenerate, the more you will create an atmosphere where everyone wins. Remember not to lose yourself in the process! Your own needs are important too, and when you are regenerated it is easier to be kind and generous with others.
A basic rule of thumb is: regenerated people are generally a greater source of regeneration for others, and drained people are more likely to drain others. So put yourself on the list too and start being a source of regeneration for others!